Maharishi Dayanand On Matrimony

The best form of marriage is that by choice (Svayamvara), after the education of the contracting parties is finished and their Brahmacharya for the aforesaid period completed. Happy is the country wherein the people devote themselves to the pursuit of knowledge, live chaste lives, and adopt the aforesaid form of marriage. Down into the depths of misery sinks that country wherein the people do not practice Brahmacharya, nor acquire knowledge, where early marriage and marriage between the unsuitable, are prevalent, for, marriage preceded by the practice of Brahmacharya and perfection of knowledge is the basis of all true reform and the source of all true happiness; the reverse of it brings on absolute ruin of people who follow it.

‘‘It is better that men and women should remain single till death rather than marry unsuitables ; i.e., persons of mutually unsuitable qualities, characteristics and temperaments should never marry each other.’’ —Manusmriti 9: 89

When boys and girls become of a marriageable age, in other words, when only 6 or 12 months are left in the completion of their Brahmacharya and education, let the photograph or picture of boys be sent to the teachers of girls’ schools, and those of girls, to those of boys’ schools. Let the teachers then send for the diaries of those who are alike in outward appearance, and study them carefully. When they find any two students (one male and the other female), resemble each other in disposition, temperament, character, and accomplishments, and consider them suited to each other for marriage, let them place the photo and the diary of one in the hands of the other, and ask them to inform them of their intention (i.e., whether they would like to marry each other or not). If they be willing to marry each other, let the Return Home Ceremony (Samavartana Samskara) of both be performed simultaneously.

They should be allowed to converse with each other or hold a discussion (on any subject to test each other’s knowledge and ability) in the presence of their tutors, parents and other respectable people. Whatever questions or answers, on any confidential subjects, one would like to put, or give to the other, should be done in writing before the assembly. As soon as they feel that their love for each other is strong enough to entitle them to marry and have, consequently, made up their minds to do so, the very best arrangement should be made with regard to their diet so that their bodies, that had weakened through the practice of rigid discipline and hard life of Brahmacharya and strict devotion to studies, may soon, gain in muscles and strength, just as the new moon grows into the full moon.

(सत्यार्थ प्रकाश The Light of Truth – Chapter 4)